When leaders try to be a friend first and a manager second, problems arise. Why becoming friends with your boss might be a terrible idea being friends with your boss can turn into a nightmare if your relationship gets too close. This will eliminate your career advancement opportunities tremendously. Here are a few tips on how to be a boss instead of a buddy. The normal persons guide to being friends with your boss without making things weird by. Being friends with your boss could cost you real money. Balancing your personal and professional relationship is bound to get complicated, so you and your superior should make an effort to always openly communicate with one another about any problems, concerns, or conflicts. Theres a lot more to bossemployee relationships than whether or not you think your manager is cool. If your boss does want to be your facebook friend which some do, let them initiate that conversation or send you the friend request. The other half said they never want friendship to be the backbone of their business. However, remember to never, ever reject a boss s request to be your friend. Even if a boss believes that they are able to set personal feelings aside, there is often a perception problem among other employees. Its easier to have your boss turn into your friend than to have a friend turn into your boss, says ben dattner, an organizational psychologist and.
Here finally is a candid, hands on guide to surviving in the indian corporate world, complete with a questionnaire to help you identify the particular malevolent subspecies your boss can be classified under. One obsession on work friends are that, sometimes few situations take place that are not easy to manage efficiently. Slightly more men than women said it was ok to friend your boss, and those age 25 to 34 collegeage kids when facebook first appeared on campuses were the most comfortable with the practice. It was a lovely offer but i had developed a personal rule by this stage of my career and. It is more of a good guide to the real corporate world and the authorities that somewhat rule it. The guide to being friends with your boss at work the muse. Yet, the line between boss and buddy can sometimes be hard to detect. However, remember to never, ever reject a bosss request to be your friend.
But after a couple of years, she noticed that her friendboss would repeatedly evade her requests for wellearned raises. Millennials are learning the hard way that your boss is not your friend. In one job i had, my manager asked me to come to her home to have lunch with her husband and children. Youre not born a leader, you develop skills that increase your effectiveness. The boss is not your friend by vijay nair a handbook for indian managers to survive all things organizational vijay nairs the boss is not your friend challenges many theories of selfhelp management books. The benefits and drawbacks of being friends with your boss. Keep in mind if you do friend your boss he or she will know when youre on facebook and can regularly see your posts.
As a manager, you have a responsibility to the company to lead in this role, first and foremost. Also, its not a bad idea for you and your boss to sit down and talk about some ground rules pretty early on in your. If people are working for you, rather than with you, the relationships are different. Im the type of guy who likes to be friends with everyone. In actual fact, devoid of some established contemplation you could. But we could not be friend friends, because i was her boss. Your boss probably doesnt want to be your facebook friend and neither does your client. When you become the boss, everything about these relationships can. Befriending your boss is not just beneficial on a personal level.
Why you shouldnt be friends with your boss your boss. Your boss isnt the right target for your workplace whining. When you go from friend to boss, the friendship as youve known it has ended. So even though you may now be your friends supervisor, it is entirely possible to be both a. If your boss asks about your weekend, it may just be that she is. Youll naturally become closer friends with some people, and others will think you play favorites. Im your boss not your best friend intern queen inc. If you struggle with this, think back to how you used to discuss your boss over a few drinks. How i learned that employees need a leader, not a friend forbes. But if you do it right, neither your work nor your relationship will suffer. This will level the playing field and strengthen all of your work tiesnot just the ones with your current friend. Its not uncommon for many new supervisors to cross the line in either directionthey.
You shouldnt be facebook friends with your boss, survey. Your primary purpose at work is to make your boss look good. When you are at your place of work some vital changes occur. How awkward can it get when your friend becomes your boss. The internet can be a scary place when youre forced to invite your boss into your online home.
Being friends with your boss can turn into a nightmare if your relationship gets too close. Walking the line between friend and employee or boss is incredibly tough. Like lynn, whose friendturnedboss hired her for a longterm marketing project. This type of situation makes it not as clear to seperate work and personal life. Your boss may be all about creating a collegial and supportive work environment, but that doesnt mean. They judged the boss more harshly in the friend scenario. Hansens great by choice as the best leadership book of. No matter how much you like and get along with your boss, your boss is not your friend. Reporting to you 16 reasons you should never add your boss on facebook. Desperately trying to prove your worth to your boss come appraisal time can be a stressful experience, but when your boss is your friend, you might expect that youll be immune from reprimand. So, you can share different content with your bffs, grandma, and your boss. This dynamic can breed rumors and resentment and create a potentially toxic culture. Lets not be friends why you shouldnt be friends with.
You and your friend must choose whether it will begin again in this new phase. Knowing your boss as a friend means knowing what your boss needs. Your manager is not your friend personal branding blog stand. While im not suggesting you cant be friends or friendly with people who report into you, your role as their boss takes precedence. Designed as a handbook for the indian executive to survive and prosper, the wisdom it contains is pertinent if not very nice. And, before you hit send on that friend request to your boss, consider that 57% of managers report, theyd find a request from an employee sorta weird. If you know your boss as a friend, you have a better. Unless your boss follows you around all day, every day, she is not aware of all the things you do at work. Similarly, if youre mulling a career change, keep it to yourself. The best mentor may not be your boss, but your best friend. Not to mention if other facebook friends put up questionable photos of you or make unprofessional comments your boss will. How to handle becoming the boss of work friends the muse. Eight steps to eliminating office drama and creating positive relationships at work debra mandel on.
The relationship a manager has with an employee is definitely not a friendship, which may be described as a twoway street. Before, you and your friends complained about the boss behind his or her back. Eight steps to eliminating office drama and creating positive relationships at work. You might even have eased up on your last few projects because, lets. As i grew my company, we got to a point where i realized being friends with employees was hurting our business and my life. Last but not least, if you notice a change in your friendship, from your friendnowyourboss, and you need your job but you miss your friendship, or even if you no longer like your friend as much as before, take my advice, and suck it up and be a good employee. Why your boss is should not be your friend return to site. Facebook allows you to restrict posts to certain friend groups. Appalled by the latest radia revelations about your corp.
As a manager, all your relationships should be bounded and defined. When a managers friend gets a raise or promotion, coworkers are bound to question whether that move was out of merit or loyalty. A parallel survey that asked whether or not you should be facebook friends with your coworkers was split. Actually, this makes the work day much more enjoyable. But what happens with the various forms of communication is people let their guard down, they get overly familiar with their boss and they slip into the same habits that they have with their friends, says ballman. So while it may not seem as such from the outside, staying true to your management duties is not as simple and easy as one might think when you are both a boss and a friend to an employee. How to manage your friend managers resource handbook. Why becoming friends with your boss might be a terrible idea. The boss is not your friend by vijay nair goodreads. The difference between being a boss and being a friend. But if you try to be a good friend first, you will never be a good boss. Believe it or not, it can actually make you better at your job. Even if your new boss is an old friend who used to commiserate with you about all your irritating coworkers, your relationship has changed. We worked really well together, and i did some of the best work ive ever done, she said.
Theyre not about liking, chemistry, or personality. Meaning our relationship quite possibly could end badly. Why you shouldnt friend your employees mediabistro. If your boss happens to be friends with one of the people from your group of friends and gets brought in to your friend circle through that connection do you stop hanging out with your circle of friends becuase your boss is now a part of your circle of friends. Pros and cons to being friends with your boss thejobnetwork. The boss is not your friend audiobook by vijay nair.
Washington post on leadership editor lillian cunningham discusses some findings from a university of pennsylvania study about how facebook can impact work re. Starting doing the same with your other team members or with future bosses. It is ok to have a friendly relationship with coworkers. New book shows how simple acts of kindness can change the world. I cowrote a book called hope unseen with captain scotty smiley. One of those is when your preeminent work friend gets promotion and becomes your immediate boss. And if there are objective criteria that were not established by the boss but. The only exception here is if you know your boss is friends with other interns on facebook, ask them in person, is it okay if i send you a friend request on facebook. If you look at spherions survey results, it seems that being close with. What do you do when your boss friends you on facebook. So even though you may now be your friend s supervisor, it is entirely possible to be both a friend and a boss.
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